February 2008

Anish Mitra
The economic stimulus package debated by Congress and supported by President Bush calls for tax rebates; $600 per person, $1200 per couple. Instead of immediately passing the bill, Democrats wanted to add a few things to the stimulus package to make sure America’s families could cope while the crisis subsided; amongst extra unemployment insurance and Medicaid extensions, Democrats also added copies of the ‘Communist Manifesto’, magnum XL condoms, pork (literally), Men’s cotton boxer briefs, and Hillary Clinton nutcrackers to Americans nationwide.

Andrew Migneault
I cannot think of any analogy that can accurately describe the horrific endeavor of finding parking in a city. Just try to find an appropriate adjective; I dare you. Sure, there may be an exception or two (if Burlington can even be considered a city). Unfortunately, Providence is not one of them, especially the East Side.

The next time you are walking to class or crossing the street, take a peek at the nearest windshield: you’ll probably find that just about every fourth car has that little orange slip tucked under the wiper blade. The parking enforcement official must be one of the most despised workers in the city. My friend said that he saw him watching the news once in the Lower Blue Room. His incessant commentary earned my friend’s description of “the most cynical man on earth.”

My reaction was that of anyone who has tried to park in urban America. As I turned the corner and saw my car, my body contorted and stretched, my eyes squinted, all in efforts to quickly scan the windshield for the dreaded orange slip. “I didn’t get a ticket!” I yelled, only to find one there mere seconds later. “25 feet within street corner: $30.” I wonder what violation the car parked next to mine committed; I saw that they had been visited by the crank, too.

Andrew Kurtzman
A January 29 Herald article proudly announced the University’s intention to cut its carbon emissions 42% by 2020. A Herald staff editorial the following day spoke at great length about the need for the University to increase its funding of financial aid, in line with Dean of Admission Jim Miller’s argument that more aid must be given for the University to compete with Harvard’s and Yale’s generous new policies.

The University must act as a “good citizen,” and the earth’s environment should remain a priority; new construction should certainly be energy-efficient to the extent that this is reasonably possible. However, the University’s plan calls for a great deal of effort beyond this, in a manner that will clearly strain University resources. Even with the assumption that carbon emissions affect the global climate in the manner that is presently accepted by many scientists, the University’s contribution to the problem is infinitesimally small, and amounts to little more than a feel-good public gesture. At this point, before the investment has been made, we must question where our priorities truly lie: would not the money spent cutting emissions be better used to address the financial aid problem, or for research funding in the graduate programs? Students funded in this manner would be far more likely to create real change.

Kristina Kelleher
America’s first pastor-in-chief? If that isn’t enough to turn you away from Mike Huckabee, perhaps the fact that he is a populist who, as Governor of Arkansas, raised taxes higher than Bill Clinton. Sadly, this is not a clerical error; Mike Huckabee is an actual contender for the Republican, not Democratic, nomination for President – who won the Iowa Caucus. Governor Huckabee says that people want to support someone who looks like one of their co-workers, and not like the guy that laid them off. Maybe it is time that we as a nation consider adding Iowa to the rolls of the unemployed and concentrate on real primaries with real candidates, when electing the next President of the United States.

Sean Quigley
From December 26, 2007, to January 5, 2008, I volunteered in Manchester, New Hampshire, for Senator John McCain’s presidential campaign. It would be a severe understatement to claim that the experience was both rewarding and fulfilling. Of special note, however, was the rather large range of political opinion which I encountered while volunteering for the campaign. Further, and in the best sense possible, the idea of Straight Talk was more than a mere motto - it was the very spirit which seemed to animate all of the volunteers at the campaign. We were forthright to each other, and to the voters whom we canvassed, about the problems we saw in the country - from President Bush’s seeming betrayal of limited-government conservatism, to the demagoguery that we perceived to be rampant in the Democratic presidential candidates’ handling of the health care issue.

Now, as I have returned to Brown’s soul-crushingly conformist campus, I yearn for a return to life on the Straight Talk highway, where the Straight Talk Express has a permanent home in the high-speed lane. At Brown, our student body is somewhere in the breakdown lane; perhaps we will eventually find the courage to stop being whiny little bitches?