I have wanted to go to medical school and law school since I was 16 years old. I was so passionate about saving lives that I wanted to be a doctor. I had a knack for science, so I had already won half the battle. Yet, I was also so passionate about fighting injustice that I wanted to be a lawyer. After all, I enjoyed public speaking and thinking on my feet. Why not do both as a career?
Then I learned about investment banking, A.K.A. making more money than God right out of college, A.K.A. long hours, boring spreadsheets, and elitist mentalities. The former didn’t matter anymore, and I was destined to become a banker.
Applying to colleges, I figured I’d try my luck at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, A.K.A. the fast-track to a successful banking career. But because I didn’t want to totally commit to banking, I also applied to Brown: there was still a piece of me that didn’t care for making money and just wanted to use my creativity to have a career that nobody else in the world had.
When it came down to choosing a school, it felt like choosing a career path. I have to become a banker if I go to Wharton. Or I can go to Brown, study whatever I want, and become whatever I want. I am proud to say I made the right choice.
As it turned out, the ambitious Ivy League culture only strengthened my need to become a banker. Many of my friends shared my ambition, mostly for monetary reasons. Of my five closest friends, three want to become bankers (at least they did before the credit crunch) and the other two would probably go into business if they weren’t PLMEs. Who wouldn’t want to live it up in their twenties?
My academic adviser made it easy for me to land a summer banking internship. He gave me the email addresses of three Brown alumni; I contacted all three, got three interviews, and got three offers. The best line I heard in my interviews was, “We are looking for young Ivy Leaguers like you.” I was sold: today a small boutique firm, tomorrow Goldman Sachs.
I felt good about myself and the direction I was headed in. But, there was still a piece inside of me that didn’t want anything to do with the life of Wall Street. I was creative. I had a bleeding heart, whereas bankers bleed hearts. During my first semester at Brown I co-founded a non-profit organization that teaches journalism to inner-city Chicago high school students. During my second semester I helped write a five-million dollar restaurant business plan that I later presented to two investment funds and the University of Chicago’s Graduate School of Business. I knew I could handle the 100-hour work weeks of investment banking and be somewhat successful in it. Yet, my creativity and enterprising personality irked for something different.
Then an omen came: the credit crunch, A.K.A. the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bears Stearns, Merrill Lynch, Washington Mutual, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and many more. Citigroup cut tens of thousands of investment-banking jobs. Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs remain, but they were hit hard. The $700 billion government bailout bill finally passed through Congress and is slowly re-establishing consumer confidence in the markets.
Suddenly, my friends and I fear that our dreams of becoming investment bankers are slipping away. Worse, many seniors who have had prestigious summer internships at investment banks are scared. Everyone is thinking about backup plans like graduate school, Teach For America, or contemplating other career paths they may actually enjoy.
As for myself, I have done a lot of thinking and rekindled my dream of going to medical and law school after Brown. The Wall Street fiasco doesn’t mean that I cannot get a banking job after graduation as I am sure my education at Brown will take care of that. It does, however, remind me that if I forgo my deep interests for immediate money, I will one day look back in regret. I will figure out my career when the time comes to decide, and it may be along the lines of malpractice lawyer, hedge fund manager, politician, or even all three.
As odd as it sounds, maybe the credit crunch is a blessing in disguise for Brown students like me. We came to campus with the talent and interest to help change the world, bit by bit. But the get-rich-quick scheme of investment banking and corporate elitism got into the way.
Don’t get me wrong, investment banking has many appealing aspects besides money. (I am not joking.) The quick decision making, fast-paced environment, and teamwork that goes into every deal can be quite exhilarating. These aspects fit the personalities of many Brown students, including myself. But how many of us would still like the profession if a banker’s salary was cut like the value of former Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld’s stock options?
I miss those days when I was a 16 year-old. I didn’t care about making money. I didn’t care about being able to afford a penthouse in New York City. I didn’t care about driving six figure cars or strutting my thousand-dollar suit down Wall Street. All I cared about was following my genuine interests, trusting that a comfortable lifestyle would inevitably follow.
While I am still interested in banking, I have been brought back down to earth again. Yes, it would be nice to climb up the Goldman Sachs corporate ladder and roll around in cash, but I walked through the Van Winkle Gates for a different reason.
