April 2008

Susannah Kroeber ‘11
The Princeton Review recently gave Brown the dubious honor of being ranked 10th among parents when asked what their dream university would be, or parenthetically, where they would like to see their children attend. I remember when students would be deterred from applying and matriculating towards any parentally- approved institution. Perhaps the corresponding ranking of 6th among students represents a teenage student body eager to demonstrate filial piety. Has the age-old tradition of American teenage rebellion dissolved? Or are today’s parents really so radical as to stamp approval on an institution that hosts now infamous events such as SexPowerGod and 420 celebrations on the Main Green? I think if we tried hard as a student body, we could drop a few places in the parental endorsement column. Mom, I want to study abroad in Iraq.

Anish K. Mitra ‘10
As the United States of America deals with the credit crunch, some say the worst is already over, while others say the worst is yet to come. The U.S. Treasury has passed a new set of banking regulations to ensure that this never happens again, as lending standards have been heightened. Further, investors feel better about the collapse of Bear Stearns, as J.P. Morgan raised their valuation of the company from $2/share to 10$/share. Things are gloomy, but they can definitely get better in the upcoming months. I say this because recently, I saw a few old guys partying hard at a bar when I was in New York to see a future employer. They were talking about a vacation to the Bahamas, Yacht parties, and bottlespecials at exclusive New York clubs. I was extremely jealous of the free time these seniors had; however, they looked overworked so I figured their newfound pleasures were hard earned. I walked up to them and asked, “Hey, are you guys retired?”

“No, we work for Bear Stearns,” they quickly replied.

Sean B. Quigley ‘10
Now that the spring season is comfortably upon us, New England’s temperate weather should receive due attention. Perhaps more importantly, however, its weather should be experienced in true New England fashion; that is, the men at this University must not be afraid to embrace that article of clothing seemingly unique to the males inhabiting this part of the world – Nantucket Red shorts. Indeed, it would be a refreshing change in pace if the slovenly sweatpants would be laid to rest, the patently ridiculous skinny jeans retired, and the quotidian jeans relegated to the closet – if but for a few months. How joyous it would be if relaxed formal attire were not condemned, and timeless fashions not besmirched! Actually – on second thought, it may be good to dismiss the fashions of those imperialist oppressors!

Andrew Kurtzman ‘08
In 2006, the University commissioned Patrick Dougherty to create a public art display on the Quiet Green. Dougherty’s saplings, grown into the form of a row of houses, were supposed to last for a year. Unfortunately, despite all of the saplings having long died, the display remained intact for an additional year, coming to bear a striking resemblance to the dilapidated row-houses in South Providence. It was, in fact, during the Spectator’s send-off party for the March 2008 issue that a giant elm on the Quiet Green came crashing down onto the monstrosity, as if nature itself had had enough. Much to our chagrin, however, it looks as though the valiant tree’s mission was only half-completed: after the “disaster,” the Herald quoted Dougherty as saying that the broken pieces would be removed, but the remaining half would be patched up and salvaged. “They still need to look good,” he said. If only they had in the first place. . . .

Kristina Kelleher ‘09
It is too bad Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice doesn’t seem to have any interest in politics, since she actually seems to have a reasonable opinion on race in this country. On March 28, during remarks with the Norwegian Foreign Affairs Minister, she was asked about the lessons she thought Americans have learned since the Civil Rights Movement. Her very un-Wright-like answer: “I think Americans can also be very proud of this country in how far we’ve come. It’s a remarkable country that I stand as Thomas Jefferson’s successor several times removed.”

Keith DellaGrotta ‘10
With Earth Day approaching on April 22nd, there is no better time to entertain conversation about the environment. An interesting forecast was published recently in which U.N. meteorologists predicted that average global temperatures are actually going to drop in the upcoming year. Even more compelling, if the prediction is correct, global temperatures will have remained constant since 1998. So much for Al Gore’s claim that Arctic sea ice will be non-existent by 2050. Ten years lacking a rise in temperature and a future decrease in worldwide temperatures indicate that, maybe, global warming is not as predominant and pressing as many environmentalists claim.