Panda Porn

In the aftermath of this year’s Sex Power God party, sophomore Amy Littlefield drew attention to a group of students standing outside the party and using numbered signs to rate the attractiveness of the attendees. Her Brown Daily Herald column highlighted several important issues concerning sexual harassment. None were surprised when freshman Sean Quigley soon replied with a letter of his own, claiming these partygoer judges were well within their First Amendment rights. Naturally, sophomore Lily Shield responded in kind, and argued that people should not be “publicly objectified and demeaned” for their revealing outfits.

While I laud the brave souls who further such discourse and dialogues, I worry that these students have lost sight of the bigger picture. A November 22 article put forth by the Associated Press reveals a disgusting and barbarous crime against females everywhere—panda porn.

Unfortunately the Giant Panda does not have the luxury of attending an Ivy League institution. It cannot concentrate in gender studies or write to the BDH and expose its plight. Yet in denouncing panda porn, I am sure I speak for the many female pandas throughout the world.

As the Associated Press indicates, Thai researcher Prasertsak Buntragulpoontawee has been showing male pandas “DVDs of fellow pandas mating.” These videos are meant to instruct male pandas how “to do it, and do it right.” Now, I am sure some of you are thinking that this is great for our fellow furry female friends. Doesn’t every girl want an experienced lover? Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those mail order videos that caring and committed couples use to help prove their love. This duo has been selected for their exceptional genetic profiles, and placed together in captivity in order to form the next super panda race. To facilitate this production, Chuang Chuang has been regularly viewing porn which should excite him into mating with Lin Hui, the female cat on ten year loan from China.

Buntragulpoontawee claims that showing panda porn to Chuang Chuang “is the same idea as chimpanzees seeing people smoke and then copying it.” Perhaps Thailand has different standards, but as I recall we decided smoking was bad a few years back. This whole experiment is disturbing on many levels: just as women at SPG shouldn’t tolerate numbers on nearby posters, pandas shouldn’t be made to view lewd acts. Just as the women at SPG were sexually harassed by the men holding the signs, we are harassing the pandas through our compulsory sex-ed. What if Chuang Chuang’s parents believe in an abstinence only education? Are federal funds involved?

As Lily Shield is correct to point out, “sexual harassment and sexual violence are closely linked.” Unfortunately we cannot interview Chuang Chuang to ascertain his long term psychological traumas, but we do know the objective of the pornography is to encourage mating with Lin Hui. Is Chuang Chuang being encouraged to commit a rape? What if Chuang Chuang is gay? Religious? Should he have to view this blasphemy? Is he being used? Do the pandas have any say in this matter? Do not animals have the right to be free from sexual harassment just as we humans do?